God: Giver or Taker?

Here is an important question for you to ponder with honesty: In your relationship with God… do you view God as more of a giver… or a taker? The answer to this question will frame your perspective of God, his character, and how he relates to the issues of your life. Beth Moore posed this question in a recent study called “Inheritance”. She asks “In your heart of hearts… and in your darkest darks… what do you really think is God’s character… giver or taker?”

If we view God as a giver, we will trust him. We will know that everything will be ok, even when we can’t imagine how it will be. We will believe that EVERYTHING is for our good. We will persevere and prove faithful, and God will bless that kind of love and trust in ways we can’t even fathom. But if we view him as a taker, even the slightest trials will cause us to run from God, curse God, and try to take control. We’ll think it’s on us to take care of ourselves, fix ourselves, and watch out for our best interests, even though half the time we may not know what those are! It will also cause us to think that it’s on us, to protect and save everyone around us. That’s a lot of pressure! We end up with great anxiety and might actually miss God’s blessings in it… and miss him proving to be protector, provider, rescuer, etc.

The enemy of course wants us to see God as a taker. From the very first days of Eden, the enemy convinced Adam and Eve that God was withholding something from them. God had given them EVERYTHING and yet, the enemy prodded “God is not good. He does not love you. He only wants to control you. And he’s holding out on you.” This is the same trap we fall into today. Yes, some of us have endured unbearable losses. But why do we fix our entire perspective of God on these losses, ignoring all the amazing blessings he’s lavished on us?

I have endured much loss in the past ten years. Two most recent stick out to me and I still grieve them. And yet, what God has GIVEN me through those losses is pretty profound. I had spent a lot of time cursing God for taking… although now blessings are STILL unfolding.

Matt Redman has a song that I often think of in times of loss. It says “You give and take away. You give and take away. My heart will choose to say, Lord blessed by your name.” This is good theology. The world is not about us. It’s complicated and God has to work everything out to a lot of people’s good and his glory. We have to have realistic expectations and when things are going south, still praise God. A relationship is not real when it’s conditional. I cannot only love God when he is blessing me. How ridiculously selfish would that be (though it’s often my inclination)? When I sing this song, I sing it with clenched teeth. I sing it with determination because it’s hard to praise God in loss… but that may be when it’s the most important, so that we don’t lose perspective of who God really is, in the bigger picture.

That line from the song is based on Job. Job had everything taken away from him. We can’t even imagine the amount of loss that Job experienced. And it was all to prove that Job would stay faithful. Job’s wife told him to curse God and die. But he would not. Yes, early in the book Job says “The Lord gives and the Lord takes away.” But this was not the end of Job’s story. God accomplished what he had to in and through Job, and then gives again. Job’s faithfulness was not dependant on God’s giving. He was faithful before he ever knew God would restore. But it says that God blessed the second half of Job’s life even more than the first.

You see, the Lord gives. The Lord takes away. But the Lord always GIVES BACK IN ABUNDANCE! His glory is seen in his love, in his goodness, his mercy, and what he gives. Our relationship, our love, cannot be dependent on what he does for us, but on who HE IS. And yet, point of fact, it is his very nature to give.

If you scan the Bible, there are loads of verses that talk about God being a giver. Scripture says he lavishes on us grace and love and mercy. Matthew 7:11 talks about how God LOVES to give good gifts to his children. Romans 8:32 says “He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things?” God loves to love. And to love is to give. Let’s look at another example of God giving, taking away, and giving back…

God had made a promise to Abraham: His descendants would outnumber the stars. Abraham waited until his 90s for an heir to be born. This was a miraculous child on which it appeared the entire promise lie. But then God did something crazy. God asked Abraham to give up Isaac, his precious son, his treasure. The NIV reads: “Take your son, your only son, whom you love—Isaac—and go to the region of Moriah. Sacrifice him there as a burnt offering on a mountain I will show you.” Wow – Really? God finally gave Abraham what he’d wanted his whole life… and now he’s asking Abraham to willing give it back? “You son, your only son, whom you love…” This was the most precious thing in Abraham’s life… except for God himself.

I could spend pages and pages on this story, as oddly I’ve heard messages on this story more times in the past eight months than in my whole life… but I want to point out something new that Beth Moore shared in her message.

If you look back into the original Hebrew, you see an additional word “na” that the King James and the NASB translates as “please” or “I pray”. Beth Moore explains that this is a word that is not often used and may be why it is dropped in the NIV. However, it’s an extraordinary word and each time it’s used (only five times in all of scripture) it is used in powerful context. God is actually saying “take PLEASE Abraham, your son, your only son that you love…” God’s emphasizing the importance of what he is asking Abraham. It’s as if he’s saying “Abraham… this is really important and you just have to trust me. Please do this; I pray you will, even though it may not make sense to you.”

Beth points out that Abraham was not against questioning God. He’d done it several times before. But this time he doesn’t. There must have been something both in the urgency of God’s request as well as the where Abraham was in his relationship and trust with God that just didn’t require question. It doesn’t necessarily mean it was going to be easy, but he believed the goodness of God and that God would somehow work it out. Abraham believed that God was a giver, not a taker.

In hindsight, we know it was a test. In fact, this story is the most quoted story on testing of faith in all of scripture. But Abraham didn’t know it was a test. He just believed God and did as was asked of him. By doing so, he got to see God keep a promise. He got to see God as provider. He got to see how far he’d come in his relationship with God. He saw so many amazing things that he would not have seen, had he chickened out. And all of this would have still been true even if he’d had to slay his son. God showed to be giver in letting him keep his son. But even if he hadn’t, he would have shown himself giver in some other way. God loved Abraham and wasn’t screwing with him. He had to test him to know he was up for the tasks he had planned for him, and that he was fully devoted, willing to give up everything. And he was rewarded for it. He not only got his son back, but he got far, far more.

God loves you too and is not screwing with you. You may be Job, having suffered substantial loss and waiting for it to turn around. You may be Abraham, where God is asking you to give up for him something as precious to you as life itself. I personally am in the midst of both. But you have to believe, that God is a giver, not a taker. He loves you. He loves those you love. And he will NOT disappoint. Hold on and TRUST.

I’m going to conclude this with an assignment for you… and a favor for someone I love.

Your Assignment – Work through the following questions:
1. On a scale of 1 to 10, 1 being taker and 10 being giver, how do you view God? What situations in your life have caused you to view him this way?
2. Think back on any situation that caused you to view him more as a taker. What other lies did that situation cause you to believe about God or yourself? Ask God to reveal these and replace them with the truth of who he is, how he loves you, and what he’s been/done in your life. Where possible, find scripture on this and write it on note cards as necessary to remember.
3. Look at that situation again. Prayerfully ask him to reveal to you any and all blessings that may have already come out of those circumstances. How has he redeemed the situation? Praise him for what he reveals.
4. Look at what’s going on in your life today. What Isaac do you need to entrust to God remembering that God is a giver, not a taker? Release it to God and commit to trust him in the situation.

The Favor I Ask – I have someone in my life who is so convinced God is a taker, that this person won’t/can’t accept the truth of Jesus and its breaking my heart. I’m literally losing sleep over it. This person feels the pain of situations past and holds it against God, but the discontent this person experiences today, is all the more evidence that Jesus is needed more than ever. I would be so grateful if you could join me in praying for this person. Let’s just call this person “S.G.”. God knows the full name and all the details of the situation. Pray for break through. Pray this person would be released from all the lies that are currently being believed. Pray this person will see Jesus clearly, feel His love, and receive Him and all He has to give. And pray however else the Lord leads. He’ll tell you. Thank you!!!!

Footnote: Much of the content for this blog is attributed to Lesson 2 of Beth Moore’s study “Inheritance”. I strongly encourage you to check out this study. It’s fabulous!

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Peaceful Rains

Have you ever just listened to the rain? We complain about rain, but it’s beautiful, refreshing, peaceful. We also complain about the rains of life… but even in them, we can find incredible beauty, refreshment, and peace.

I’m feeling a peace today that I haven’t felt in some time and I think it’s because I’m letting go of more and more, and simply sitting in trust of the Lord and his extraordinary love for me. When he’s prompted me to act, in obedience, I’ve gotten some courage to do it (even when I don’t like it and/or even if it’s VERY uncomfortable). That’s important. We have to be open to correction, either from God himself… or from the gentle words of loving friends. And when he’s prompted me to sit still (and stop meddling in and trying to control my own life!), I’ve been able to stop, listen, and see all he’s doing that illustrates his love for me, and that he’s incredibly trustworthy. When I sit in a posture of trust, I’m not distracted by my own fears… and the enemy’s voice is silenced. I can see more clearly that God’s fingerprints are everywhere on my life and I’m humbled and excited by all he’s already done and what I’m seeing him continue to do. I am a very different person than I was two years ago… and its because he’s been with me as I’ve stood in rain.

Three verses are resonating with me today. May they bless you too and give you the strength and courage to rest and listen to the Lord. Do you realize how much he loves you? Do you realize all he wants from you is your fellowship?

“You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you.” Isaiah 26:3

Actually, all of Isaiah 26 is brilliant. I strongly encourage you to read it. But the gist is this… peace is achieved through faith, through trusting God. As we trust him, we are able to be obedient. And in pursuing righteousness, learning this from the Lord, we find all the more peace. Why? Anxiety originates in the need to take control. But if we trust the Lord, are wholly surrendered, not distracted by fear, broken dreams, and mistreatment of others… if we can trust him in all these things, we’ll hear him, live as he wants us, and in his presence, we’ll find amazing peace.

The Blue Letter Bible presents “steadfast” in the Hebrew to be the word “carnak”, which means to lean or lay upon, to rest upon, to support. The Lord wants us to rest in him and stop listening to the lies the enemy is feeding us, lies that God is not trustworthy. God is doing beautiful things, yes, even in trial and hardship, right in front of you. Maybe even more so there, for its in the fire that we are refined. Lean in.

“Great peace have they who love your law, and nothing can make them stumble.” Psalm 119:165

The problem with lack of trust is that it causes us to do stupid things. We fall prey to idols, addictions, coping mechanisms, anything that will help us get what we think we want or need. But we’re sabotaging ourselves. We’re grabbing on to things that aren’t what God wants or has for us, meanwhile letting pass by all he does. I was reminded a few weeks ago that when we’ve got two arms wrapped so tight around one thing, we can’t reach out for anything else. Oh how true that has been for my life! I grasp for inferior things out of fear God will give me nothing at all. All the while, God is trying to give me and show me beautiful things that I’m COMPLETELY missing. I’ve been convicted lately of some of my own sin of falling prey to idols out of lack of trust. Lord – May I grow in trust and love of your law so I stop causing myself and others to stumble! For I know then, when my heart is steadfast in you, I will find your peace. Living in your will and trusting you gives me peace. Beating against the wind and striving to make this or that happen, gets me no where.

“And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:7

Why would God’s peace transcend, or exceed, all understanding to us? It’s because his peace is based on his ways and his ways are not our ways. God doesn’t think like us. His methods, approaches, timings are not always intuitive to us. But they are FAR better. We can’t lean on our own understanding; we’re flawed. He can see what we can’t, and has control to maneuver in a way not even conceivable to us. He can move us from point A to B for our own good without any effort at all. And in this, if we let him, he gives us all wisdom. Our hearts are the seat of wisdom, wise decision making. We need God’s peace, drawn from trust in him, to protect our hearts and enable us to make sound decisions. He’s given us sound minds, but our thoughts are corrupted by our fears and insecurities. Proceeding Phil 4:7, scripture instructs two things… pray… and be thankful. Prayer enables us to lay our worries at God’s feet. Thanksgiving changes our heart to believe God is good, no matter the circumstances. In that type of submission and faith, we receive peace. We also become nibble enough, quiet enough, to hear from the Lord. Worry is like noise in our heads. Peace allows God to reveal himself.

Yesterday morning, I realized I’d left my glasses at church Sunday night. I get desperate headaches reading or being online without them, so going the day without them wasn’t an option. I initially saw this unplanned road trip as an inconvenience, but no sooner had the thought passed through my head, did God speak: “I make no mistakes. I create no worthless moments. I have something to share with you, right now, on this drive, that had you just been working as usual, I could not have shared with you.” I felt led to put on 105.1 to a sermon so consistent with some of what the Lord is trying to teach me, I almost crashed my car! He talked of inheritance. He talked of surrender. And a few other things I won’t share… but so cool. I’m seeing more each day, that my God is in even the smallest detail of my life, and is making extraordinary efforts to fellowship with little ‘ol me… and show me how very, very much he loves me. And in that… he gives me his peace. Sweet stuff.

Are you looking for the Lord in the littlest moments? Are you listening when he whispers sweetly to you? Are you receiving him as he tries to draw you close? Are you humbling yourself in surrender so he can do a good work in and through you? What are you to set down today to find his peace? What idols or coping mechanisms will you be willing to give up to get his peace? Where might you have to act to reduce the anxiety caused by sin and idols in your life?

I heard Beth Moore say the other day, that good teachers have to be good students. Yes. And good writers need to be good readers… appreciating other’s words, thoughts, encouragement, and challenges. I heard a new song on my Pandora today that would have caused me to fall to my knees in truth and praise, had I not been at work. 😉 It reflects so much what I’m feeling right now, consistent with all I just wrote. Inheritance. Surrender. God’s amazing love. Don’t you just love themes? You think God’s trying to make a point? 🙂 I’ll close with the lyrics.

Its called: “The Only Thing That’s Beautiful in Me” by Rush of Fools.

Just like the ocean waves
You crash on me
Just like a tidal wave
You ruin me
Just like a hurricane
You devastate everything that needs to change

CHORUS

You are the only thing that’s beautiful in me
Beautiful in me
You are the only thing that’s beautiful in me
Beautiful in me

Just like a mountain peak
You life me up
Just like a desert stream
You fill my cup
You are the blood that covers me
You cover me

CHORUS

And all I can say is thank you, thank you
And all I can say is thank you Lord, thank you
And all I can say is thank you, thank you

CHORUS

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The God of All Comfort

What a month it’s been. We’ve laughed. We’ve cried. We’ve prayed. We’ve praised. We’ve labored and we’ve rested. We now try to get back to “normal”. But what is “normal” after loss? Just how long does it take to mourn, to get it all out of our systems? I find in some moments, I do feel things resolving. But other times, I know that nothing will ever be the same and it brings me to a sadness that makes it hard to want to get out of bed and do “normal” things.

We all have things we reach to for comfort. Food, wine, relationships, television, internet, exercise, friends, sleep, cleaning… and those are just what I’ve tried this weekend! The truth is though, especially in our deepest hurts, God is the only one able to comfort us.

I ran a Bible Gateway search on “comfort”. In Ruth 2:13, Boaz comforts Ruth by providing for her needs and taking care of her. In 2Samuel 12:24 David comforts Bathsheba after their first son dies. In Job 2:11, Job’s friends comfort him. In Job 7:13, he looks to his bed for comfort. Many verses speak to where people seek comfort, but several explicitly denote where ultimate comfort is found… God alone is our ultimate comforter. He is even called the God of all comfort.

“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.” 2 Corinthians 1:3-4

Why Don’t I Feel God’s Comfort?

I’ve learned a lot about God’s comfort this past year, usually because I didn’t feel it. If God is the God of all comfort, where was he? I thought I was desperately crying out for him. But was I?

In January, while on holiday in New Zealand, I boldly asked God why he’d let me down. I begged him that even if he wouldn’t change any of my circumstances, couldn’t he just be the God of all comfort that he promised to be? I felt no comfort. I felt no peace that passes understanding. His response: “As soon as you stop being mad at me and let me, I will.”

You see, I’d become like a stubborn teenager. I was begging for a hug, but any time God got close, I said “Don’t touch me! I got it!” I was so angry. I was angry at so many things; Amy being sick was only one.

I remember a situation a few years ago. A bird had flown into my parents back porch and gotten trapped. I went to help it, but each time I got close, it fluttered its wings furiously and wouldn’t let me near. It didn’t understand that it couldn’t help itself; it had to rely on me. Only when it fell to the ground exhausted, was I able to gently pick up its frightened little body and free it.

How often is this us? I didn’t realize that I was spending so much time counting God’s offenses against me that I was keeping him at arm’s length. I felt if he really loved me, all these horrible things wouldn’t be happening. Without even realizing it, I’d decided he wasn’t trustworthy so I didn’t want him to comfort me. I’d looked to my idols to comfort me – friends, guys, food –comfort  that only HE can give. It was only when I hit bottom, when I stopped beating my wings, could he come in and comfort me… and he did.

God corrected a lot of bad theology in New Zealand. Bad things don’t mean God is bad; pain is part of this fallen world. He loves me more than I can imagine and wants to be near to me. He has a glorious plan, even when I can’t understand it. He is trustworthy and I need to rely on him first and foremost. Nothing and no one can fill me, satisfy me, and comfort me like he can.

Turning Back to Him

February and March were so different. I had a new capacity to handle the trials of life. I felt God with me and he was comforting me each step of the way. I just had to stop being angry and turn back to him, forgive him in a sense. I mean, God had never left my life; I’d walked with him each day. But that part of me that was angry had put up just enough of a wall to stifle his ability to give me all the comfort and all the peace he desperately wanted to give. That may be the most confusing sometimes. It is possible to be walking closely with the Lord, listening, obeying, studying, praising, and still having just enough of a wall to keep comfort out. Comfort is a deeper level of love, of intimacy, that requires our full trust. We have to throw away all the idols and rest in him alone. He wants to be our comfort and won’t compete with anything.

I must confess, in the past two weeks, I’ve returned to some bit of anger. It is, in fact, a normal part of grieving. We get hurt, disappointed, feel let down, wish something had gone differently, and the result is we get angry at God. Problem is that we long for his comfort the most in these same times. He won’t be able to REALLY comfort us until we forgive him… and let him.

Are you one of the many who are grieving now? Are you longing for comfort? Can you feel God’s comfort? If not, I’d ask you… what are you using to comfort yourself a part from him and are you willing to lay those down? Are you willing to forgive him so he can come close?

Abba Father, our pain is real. Hurt and anger is even natural. But you want to comfort us. Our comfort ultimately HAS to come from you; nothing else will satisfy. In fact, the ways we comfort ourselves, may even give the enemy a foothold to pull us from you. Father, help us. Help us to lay down our idols, lay down our fears, our hurts, and let you in. If we need to forgive you, soften our hearts so we can. We do want to be close to you. Lord, I pray for all my brothers and sisters who read this… Calm them today. Give them that peace that passes all understanding. Be near to them. May we all seek you now, nothing else, more than ever. AMEN

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Grace for Strangers

I’ve been dealing with a tax nightmare from my time in the UK for months. Just when I thought it was done, not one, but two more tax disasters, one in the UK and one in the US sprung up, all due to my former employers errors. On top of that, many other things have been coming up. All of this couldn’t be at a more inopportune time, as I just want to focus all my attention on my sick friend, serving her and her family. I want to tell the rest, “If only you knew what was going on, what we’re going through right now, you wouldn’t put all this extra on me/us right now.” I just want to put a little safety “bubble” around me and those I love. I mean, with God’s help, we’re handling what we have, but no more would be nice. 

Then it occurs to me… I wonder how many times I’ve inadvertently bumped up against someone else’s “bubble”. That driver that cuts me off or insists on cutting in, that I just label selfish. Or the person at work that I give a hard time to because they just aren’t doing what I need them to. The customer service rep I snap at because someone else at their company “did me wrong”. Do I really know what’s going on in their lives, what they’re already dealing with before they had to deal with me? Even with our own friends, are we sensitive enough to what’s going on? I mean, do we really know everything?

I think about this and three verses jump to my mind…

It (Love) always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” 1 Corinthians 13:7

“Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near.” Philippians 4:5

“If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves.” Philippians 2:1-3

Ouch. Yeah, I’m going through a lot right now. But so are a lot of others. Am I really being the woman of God that I want to be in accordance with these words? I want to be this woman. I want to be gentle. I want to look to other’s need’s first. I want to protect and trust. Am I doing it?

This scripture encourages us to make a habit, like God’s done for us, to assume the best. I’m not suggesting to condone continuous poor behavior, but do we give the benefit of the doubt? Do we consider that others may be struggling in ways we don’t know or do we just assume they’re being selfish, difficult, incompetent? Hmmmm… I wonder if when I think the later, if that’s really showing how selfish I truly am. Or maybe its revealing areas of my life that I’ve yet to trust God, where frustrations, as things go wrong, spark more easily.

As I read on in Philippians Paul says: “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” (Phil 5:4-7)

That’s the same verse God has been playing over and over in my head. “But in everything… with thanksgiving… And the peace of God… will guard your hearts.” How I wish I could just get this.

Can I be thankful for all my tax headaches, my work stresses, my traffic jams, my confused appointments, right now? Can I trust God that he won’t allow anything that doesn’t have a good purpose? Who knows, maybe some of these things are happening, so I will write… b/c maybe some of you need to hear this as much as I did. God says he works all things to the good of those who love him (Rom 8:28). Do I believe him? He’s either working it to my good or someone else’s.

How about in relating to others? Can I give the benefit of the doubt in all circumstances? Am I willing to give grace even to strangers? Will I put others before myself?

I see two actions in this lesson for me: Trust God more in my troubles and try to give the benefit of the doubt more to others more. How about you?

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When Unanswered Prayer is Good

I remember when my brother was about 10 years old. He asked me, “Why do they call it ‘Good Friday’ if that’s the day Jesus died?” Before I even got to answer, my wise little brother said “Wait, never mind. If Jesus hadn’t died, he never could have risen again to forgive us of our sins.” It blew me away, maybe because it was spot on. Out of the mouth of babes, right? Jesus’ death, what we’d seemingly have seen at the time as bad, was a very, very good thing indeed. Maybe that’s true about a lot of our prayers.

In the last three years, I’ve wrestled a lot with unanswered prayer. So we don’t debate semantics, I suppose God always answers prayer, because even “no” or no answer is an answer.  But I’m talking about praying diligently for something and just not getting a “yes” answer. I’ve asked God for so many things that seemed surely in his will. Things that were usually for the benefit of others, salvation, freedom from a strong hold, healing. I mean, if we pray in his name, according to his will, he has to say yes, right? Not if we’re not seeing the whole picture. He may delay or decline our request because he has a far bigger or better plan for us or for others. If God is greater than we can ask or imagine, let’s not limit his answers to our prayers by our imaginations.

While I was in New Zealand, I read a fantastic book called God on Mute by Pete Greig. Several years ago, Greig’s wife was diagnosed with benign (non cancerous) brain tumors that caused her to develop a very serious seizure disorder. This all happened about the same time he was launching an international prayer ministry. During what should have been an amazing time in ministry, they experienced some of the greatest pains of their lives, as God seemingly chose not to heal his wife.  The book is a very real account of their struggle and heartache with unanswered prayer. But he takes it through interesting eyes, the eyes of Jesus in the last four days of his life.

^“They went to a place called Gethsemane, and Jesus said to his disciples, “Sit here while I pray.” He took Peter, James and John along with him, and he began to be deeply distressed and troubled. “My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death,” he said to them. “Stay here and keep watch.”Going a little farther, he fell to the ground and prayed that if possible the hour might pass from him. “Abba, Father,” he said, “everything is possible for you. Take this cup from me. Yet not what I will, but what you will.” Mark 14: 32-26

The night before Jesus’ crucifixion, he went into a garden and prayed diligently. He knew what he would have to suffer. He also knew why. But in his humanity, he asked God if there was another way. He asked God to take this suffering, the horrific thing he knew was about to happen, away from him. Many scholars say it wasn’t only the physical pain that he knew he’d endure, but also the spiritual separation from his Father, that was overwhelmingly devastating to him. Yet he ends this prayer with full submission. “Not my will, but your’s”. There was clearly no sin in asking, but he had to be willing to not get his way.

The heartache Jesus must have felt. The loneliness he must have experienced as his friends all abandoned him. The pain of a world that just didn’t understand. God didn’t answer as Jesus asked and he went to the cross.

We all know the ending of the story though. Jesus was resurrected, having conquered the grave. His death and resurrection paved a way for us to have a personal relationship with God if we choose it. That is a very good unanswered prayer.

Many of us look at things we’ve asked of God and been terribly hurt and disappointed when God either answered “wait” or “no”. But how much better could be our prayer lives, if we had enough trust in the love of God to, without a second of doubt, say “but not as I will, but as you do.” What if we could see the plan, all the benefits from the start. Wouldn’t that change everything?

^“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.” Philippians 4:6

So many of us know this passage cold, but seem to overlook the “with thanksgiving”. This implies that we are, even as part of our request, thanking him for what he’s already done and what he is yet to do, even if its not exactly as we hope, because we know he is always good.

Obviously all of my blogs this week are at least in part related to my friends health situation, of which many of us are struggling. It is hard, and often feels like unanswered prayer. But in the last few days, God is overwhelmingly showing me all the benefits that have come out of this situation. They almost number like the stars. Its been amazing to see her family’s faith grow. Its been amazing to watch our community come together and learn to love and support each other better. Its been so good to witness how God is molding each of our characters, our hearts, our gifts, to make us better people than we were a year ago.

Hmmmm. God is good. It may even be, that more often than not, we don’t get the answer we hope for. Neither did Jesus. But in the end, the plan is always better. Jesus always raises from the dead. Will you be willing to trust God for something far better than just how you wanted your prayer answered?

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The Live is Christ. To Die is Gain. (Part 1 of 2)

“I eagerly expect and hope that I will in no way be ashamed, but will have sufficient courage so that now as always Christ will be exalted in my body, whether by life or by death. For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain.  If I am to go on living in the body, this will mean fruitful labor for me. Yet what shall I choose? I do not know! I am torn between the two: I desire to depart and be with Christ, which is better by far; but it is more necessary for you that I remain in the body.” Philippians 1:20-24

Our small group is studying Philippians. Started just over a month ago. It is of no coincidence that we were studying this exact passage when we had to take a pause to live this very thing together.

I’d like to share about this passage in two parts. Tonight, this one, is on the departing of this world, homeward to heaven. In a day or two, I’ll talk about those of us that remain.

To live or die, which do I prefer? Paul is clear, that to be with Christ is better by far. He calls it GAIN. Why then, do we hold on so tight to this world? Even as believers we often fail to look at death through eternal eyes. If nothing else, surely we should be viewing this with eternal eyes – its the entire foundation of our faith!

Earth is not our home. Earth is but an imperfect extension of the very perfect heaven. The propaganda of this world has us all mixed up. We’re afraid that if we die young, we’re going to miss something. In fact its the opposite; our real life is only beginning at death! Earth is but a mere glimpse of heaven, a quick stopover on our way. Think of all those very brief moments you are overwhelmingly happy here on earth. What if you had those moments all the time? What if you had earth… but perfect? Oh, how beautiful!

God has so much more for us than here. I’m reading a book called “Heaven” by Randy Alcorn. I highly recommend it (and I’m not a reader!).  We talk about death and eternity all the time. Its in scripture just about everywhere and in most Christian music. Yet not only do we take it for granted, we seem to dread it! To hunger for death is viewed as morbid and the thought of losing someone to death is completely unpalatable. Yes, I know all too well, the loss of one you love is heart wrenching. But for those that believe, we should be overjoyed for them. Salvation is the culmination of their faith.

Alcorn says we actually seem to have low expectations of heaven. We think it will be boring and monotonous. I mean, how long can you float around in your white robe singing? But that’s yet another lie of the enemy. I mean, really? If we really know God, do we really expect so little of him and his promises?

My last blog was on hope. I talked about hope in Christ and hope for healing. When we have an eternal perspective, we can realize, that there is always full and complete healing. It just may be that it doesn’t occur this side of heaven. Even Jesus prayed for his own life to be spared. But God denied that prayer. Aren’t you glad he did? Jesus was resurrected into glory and now sits at the right hand of the Father. When Peter said no way would he die, Jesus called him Satan for wanting to get in the way of the plan! Because he died, we now can be in relationship with the God of the Universe.

If we fail to see God’s eternal perspective, we could fall ensnared to think that God didn’t bring healing because we didn’t pray enough. My God isn’t that weak. He decides who lives and dies, based on how he chooses to bless them and glorify himself. Do you get that? To be brought to heaven is a blessing. It means your work is done and God is eager to allow you into his rest to enjoy his banquet table.

“The righteous perish,  and no one ponders it in his heart;  devout men are taken away,  and no one understands that the righteous are taken away to be spared from evil. Those who walk uprightly  enter into peace;  they find rest as they lie in death.” Isaiah 57:1-2

That’s the long way of saying… Only the good die young. I’ve had two friends die in the last 8 years. One was hit by a bus at age 24. One was murdered at 29. Both are dancing with Jesus right now.

I sit here tonight, watching over an angel. If it is more important that she stay in this world, God will bring a miracle and she will. But if she doesn’t, maybe that means her work is done, we need to let her go to receive her well deserved reward, and its time for us to pick up where she left off.

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The Brokenhearted

As I was writing my piece on pruning, a writer friend asked me to review her devotional on the brokenhearted. Its core verse sticks with me.

“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” – Psalm 147:3

When we look at pruning (the topic of my last blog, if you missed it), it occurs because there is something in us that needs to be cut in order to achieve God’s will in us. These things normally represent sin patterns, bad behaviors that inhibit us. But there are far more difficult circumstances, of no doing of our own, that God would use to mold us and others through our witness.

So Many Questions

Rarely do we understand these things. They are extremely painful and in a worldly sense, seem to prove of no good purpose. I think of those around me struggling with a lot of “Why?”s. A serviceman with a family is killed, a job is lost, a child mistreated, health dramatically compromised. “Why God?!”

I think of my own times of broken heartedness. They’ve all been about the loss of something precious. I’ve asked “Why?” thousands of times. I ask God “Why?” on many issues still. But the answers don’t matter.

We cannot understand God’s ways all the time, maybe not even most of the time. Nonetheless, we have his promises and we have to believe him. Again I say, we have to know our God and hold to that truth.

But He is Close

Scripture (above) says that God heals the broken hearted and binds up their wounds. I think though more precious to me is this verse:

“The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” Psalm 34:18

To be honest, in God’s economy, I’m not sure what healing means. I don’t know what binding up wounds means. I know plenty who’ve never been healed and/or walk with wounds every day.

I do know though what it means that God is close. I know what it means, that he will come to the rescue of those crushed in spirit. I’ve experienced it! I’ve experienced it more than once.

I was driving home tonight, dealing with some of my own broken heartedness and a truly special song came on the radio. It’s called “Be Still” by Storyside B. The refrain chocked me up.

“When I feel like caving in, my heart, my soul is wearing thin, I just want to give up and nothing seems at all to add up. Can you hear my, Lord? My face is on the floor. Its then you whisper in my ear. Be still and know that I am here. We are not alone.”

Hold Promises Tight

I love Moses’ words to Joshua: “The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.” Deut 31:8

This is a promise to all of us. It’s innate in God’s character and his love for us. He will NOT leave you. He is close to the brokenhearted. He will not forsake you. Because of this, you don’t have to be afraid. You can fight discouragement.

We know the familiar verse, Romans 8:28: “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”

The word “all” is another promise. It’s not some things, even most things, it’s ALL things. Does this mean we’ll always get our way? Get our prayers answered as we hope? Sadly, heck no. But it is a promise that God works everything, all our struggles, all our pain, the broken heartedness, for good.

I encourage the broken hearted to read all of Romans 8. It talks how we are alive in the spirit and should not focus on this world. It says our present sufferings are nothing compared to what God will do through them. It says we are more than conquerors, because God is for us, not against us.

Jesus says that in this world we will have trouble (John 16:33). Yup. You only need to be alive to get that one. But we need to remember just after that, he reminds us, that he’s conquered this world.

The Fruit of the Brokenhearted

Though often frustrating, it’s true, that God does the most powerful things, the most brilliant, amazing work, through desperate trials and heartache. I have never learned more than through these times. I’ve never seen God glorified more than watching him work in and through me at these times or others in the moments of their distress. I’ve seen my trials and those of others, spur on yet others to tremendous growth and good works. We don’t need all the answers; we just need to remember this.

Are you brokenhearted today? Oh how God loves you and will use this. Your circumstances might suck. But in all his love for you, he promises to not waste it and do things through it you can’t even begin to imagine. Oh dear brothers and sisters, God will strut his stuff in getting you and others through your pain. It is a chance for you to minister even greater and produce more beautiful fruit for the kingdom, than you ever could have produced any other way. Its a hard task… and you probably wish he’d asked someone else. But – Will you hold tight and believe him for that… for those promises?

I pray you do. And I pray that God, the God of all Comforts, will feel as close to you as all he promised, every step of the way.

Father God, we have so many questions. I’m not going to ask anymore. I’m going to trust you. I’m going to trust your methods, your decisions, and your plan. I pray you enable me to be a witness, no matter my circumstance. Strengthen me. If possible, be gracious to me and help me envision the bigger picture. But even if you can’t, may I be faithful anyway.

Lord, be close to the broken hearted today. Come to their aid. You may choose not to change their circumstance. In fact, it could even get worse. Nonetheless, we know you promise to be there. You will provide the comfort, the love, the peace, to get through. You will use it in huge ways. Help us to not lose sight of this, in spite of our very natural and understandable humanness. Help us, Jesus. AMEN.

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Forgiving God

If you read my last blog, I spoke on forgiveness and how important it is to our ability to live in the moment, live the abundant life. When we’re living in unforgiveness we’re in bondage to the person or circumstance that has already harmed us. We break free by acknowledging God’s sovereignty in all situations and acknowledging his character, that he’s all knowing, completely just, entirely trust worthy, and loves us so dearly. What has happened to us, and the fact that we may not understand it, does not change any of these things. God was there all along.

Today I want to talk about forgiving God. When we’re hurt, when we don’t understand why he’s allowed certain things or withheld certain things, we get mad at Him. I know you’ve been there. I’ve been there often! Without forgiveness, our relationship with him is damaged.

Why Forgive God?

We’re unable to live in the moment, when we’re not trusting God. We can’t trust him, when we feel we’ve been wronged by him. Though God, in his perfection, can do nothing wrong, some times decisions he makes, things he allows, can hurt us in the short term.

Our failure to acknowledge that we might need to forgive God puts a wedge between him and us. We’re hurt, we’re mad that something played out a certain way. We lost a job, a loved one, a dream was shattered, someone got sick, we don’t like our life status, everything is a struggle. Why won’t God just fix it?! Some times he just can’t. Not because he doesn’t have the power, or he doesn’t have the love, but because he knows the larger plan. This thing HAD to happen to play out his perfect will. Some times it not just about us. Or the development of our character through a circumstance is more important than a situation itself.

Do you know what? God wants you to come to him with all your heartaches, even if you think he caused them. In all good relationships, we must go to the one that’s hurt us and tell them. If we don’t get honest with God when he’s hurt us, that chasm between him and us will only grow. That bitterness takes root and we find ourselves all the further off track without him.

“Cast your cares on the LORD and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous fall.” Psalm 55:22

Share the Hurt and Frustration

When I was in London, I met an amazing individual, who loves the Lord, but frankly, he’s broken her heart. Things have happened that have caused her to doubt. I don’t believe she doubts who he says he is or of what he’s capable. She doubts his love for her and whether he is a loving God, if he can allow so many hard things, especially to those who are trying to live according to his ways. Hurt and frustrated, she’s walked away from him. She doesn’t know what else to do.

Our meeting was certainly a divine appointment. If you know me, you know that the last few years God has allowed me to go through several trials that left me questioning his love, or at least his methods. I shared with her how often I’ve cried out to him for understanding.

I told her what I’ve learned most, is just keep talking. Like a human relationship, you need to communicate. You need to share your thoughts, feelings, and work through things together. I remember calling God to task on some of his promises in scripture. Dangerous! You can see I was pretty desperate. I begged him to meet me where I was, comfort me, give me strength, help it make sense, help me see anything differently, anything! I was more than once at my wits end.

I told her there were times that I too wanted to give up on Him, just turn away. But time and again, Peter’s words in John 6:67-68 resounded with me. Jesus asks Peter if he too will abandon him. Peter responds: “Lord, to whom shall we go?”

Some times I feel like he makes it hard to stay. Yet isn’t that my own lack of understanding, confusion, selfishness? I find when I have strayed, I’ve fallen into all sorts of temptations to ease my pain. Most regularly, these only caused more heartache and never filled me.

How Do You Forgive God?

God told me once that I doubted him, because I’d forgotten who he was. I did a study on all his attributes in hopes of remembering… his love, his mercy, his omnipotence, all of it.

Forgiving God is like forgiving anyone else. It begins by submitting to God’s authority. You remember he’s God, you’re not, and he just knows more than you. God would remind me of all the times he’s been faithful in the past and that he wasn’t about to stop being faithful now. The Israelites set up tangible reminders, their Ebenezer stones, to remember God’s faithfulness. I have a lot of Ebenezer stones, so I insist on trusting him.

“The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.” Deuteronomy 3:8

A couple weeks ago, in chatting with a friend, in occurred to me that many of my longings have gone unmet, many questions left unanswered, for upwards of seven years. And yet, as I look back, I see all the good that has come out of this journey. God is pruning me, preparing me. I know that God has big plans for me. He will answer many of my questions and fill my heart, but first, he is disciplining me, so I am not swayed by the world, but ready to be all he has planned.

“Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as sons. For what son is not disciplined by his father? If you are not disciplined (and everyone undergoes discipline), then you are illegitimate children and not true sons. Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of our spirits and live! Our fathers disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness. No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.” Hebrews 12:7-11

It’s Not Just Me Who Cries

Last weekend I visited my nieces and two new nephews. How I cherish them! It occurred to me how hard it must be for their parents to discipline them, loving them as they do. But I know that it’s in loving them, that they MUST discipline them. Some times it kills the parent to discipline, as they watch their child cry and cry, hurt and confused. But it’s for their growth and protection.

God whispered to me, how hard its been for him, how many tears he’s shed, as he’s had to watch me all those nights I’ve cried… knowing that NOT rescuing me was for my own good. He knew that REALLY loving me meant that he could only comfort me at times and at others, just watch me struggle. As my Father, he wanted me to be ok, to understand, but seeing the big picture, he had to wait and just let me go through it. He knew I could and that I had to, to move forward.

CS Lewis wrote: “Isn’t God supposed to be good? Isn’t he supposed to love us? And does God want us to suffer? What if the answer to that question is yes? See, I’m not sure that God wants us to be particularly happy. I think he wants us to love and to be loved. He wants us to grow up. I suggest to you that it is because God loves us that he gives us the gift of suffering. Or to put it another way, pain is God’s megaphone to rouse a deaf world. You see, we are like blocks of stone out of which The Sculptor carves the forms of man. The blows of His chisel which hurt us so much are what makes us perfect.”

God’s adventure isn’t always easy. I know several of you, expressed to me that much of your current lack of faith, apathy, or anger/frustration with God, is because you feel he’s never really been there for you. He’s let you down, so you’ve walked away. I BEG you give him another chance. You can’t do this life alone, without him. Your greatest effort and struggle, is nothing compared to what he can bring you, if you trust him. We don’t understand his ways, but he does have a purpose for your pain. He hates to see us hurt, so he never wastes a hurt.

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the LORD.” Isaiah 55:8

“And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.” Ephesians 3:17b-21

Talk to him about it. Tell him you’re pissed off! Goodness knows he’s heard strong words from me, some you’d hardly dare to use in front of God! Ask him to help you understand. Let him comfort you. Try to find a way to forgive him. Your ability to live the abundant life depends on it!

Just in closing… there’s a song that always seems to pop on the radio, when I’m most angry at God. It’s by MercyMe. It goes like this:

“I can count a million times, people asking me how I can praise You with all that I’ve gone through. The question just amazes me can circumstances possibly change who I forever am in You. Maybe since my life was changed, long before these rainy days, It’s never really ever crossed my mind. To turn my back on you, oh Lord, my only shelter from the storm, but instead I draw closer through these times. So I pray:

Bring me joy, bring me peace
Bring the chance to be free
Bring me anything that brings
You glory And I know there’ll
be days When this life brings me pain
But if that’s what it takes to
praise You Jesus, bring the rain

I am yours regardless of the clouds that may loom above because you are much greater than my pain. You who made a way for me, suffering your destiny, so tell me, what’s a little rain? So I pray: (return to refrain)”

Father God, we know that throughout scripture, you warn us that this world will be full of trouble, full of pain. It sure is, and there’s so much we don’t understand. In these times, we cry out, and unfortunately, some times we run away from you, hurt and angry. Help us to see your love, no matter the circumstance. Help us to trust you, bear with you. Give us something to remind us of your goodness, when it hard to believe. Help us to understand your character. Give us the humbleness and strength to yield to your will. Help us forgive you. Restore today, any broken relationships between you and any who may read this. Help them to talk to you. Listen to them and don’t be silent. As for me, help me to continue to stand firm. Protect me from the world’s many temptations when I struggle to trust you. I love you, Lord. AMEN.

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The Ministry of Presence

Silence deepens. The pounding of my heart is increasing. I know not what to do. Another’s life hangs in the balance. What do I say? Lord of All Comfort, give me the words, the words to save this life. Guide me, lead me, and fill me with your wisdom.

Last Sunday, Todd spoke on suicide. To be on any end of this matter can be devastating. Hearing about it can be quite painful to those who have been touched by it.

In the Lobby of the Internet Campus, Todd’s sermon hit close to home for at least two people, currently dealing with loved ones in crisis. Several people offered prayer and encouragement. Others offered scripture and words of wisdom. And yet, I think many just felt helpless, not knowing what to say. I know the individuals sharing their situations with us felt helpless, because they told us so. They didn’t know what to do. Their loved ones didn’t want to talk anymore. They didn’t want to listen anymore either. I can relate.

In spring of 2002, I went through a very difficult time. Situations caused a depression so deep, that the thought of suicide did occur to me. Historically, I’d been pretty good at handling “my stuff”, with God’s help. But having been a believer for almost 20 years only caused more fear and frustration because this time I couldn’t understand why I was doing everything “right” and yet God wouldn’t make it better. Ironically, being so angry at God was one of the reasons I ruled out that aching temptation to end it (that, and praise Him, knowing I had many loved ones).

I was tired of talking about my pain. I didn’t want anyone to know how bad it had gotten and I just had nothing else to say. I didn’t want to listen any more either. Everything anyone said just seemed like a silly platitude and only made me feel worse. Throwing scripture at me when I was already mad at God just made me angrier.

I’ve been on the other side though too. Several years later I would feel incredibly helpless watching a dear friend suffer quite deeply. I was desperate to find something to say, something I could do, to make it better, encourage my friend, and ease the pain.

Sometimes though, you need not words. Your presence is enough.

This is the “Ministry of Presence”, to just sit with someone in their pain and suffering. Love never fails and Jesus showed us, time and time again, how compassion heals.

When Jesus heard of Lazarus’ death, his first means to care for Lazarus’ family was to go be with them. He went to them. He wept with them. He comforted them. Then he acted. (John 11)

Paul writes about God, suffering, and our roles: “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.” 2 Corinthians 1:3-4

If we look back in the Old Testament, we see a similar example in Job. Job’s friends spent most of their time just being with him. They sat with him. They suffered with him. In fact once or twice when the spoke, they said all the wrong things. Being still and providing comfort was the best support they could provide him.

“When Job’s three friends, Eliphaz the Temanite, Bildad the Shuhite and Zophar the Naamathite, heard about all the troubles that had come upon him, they set out from their homes and met together by agreement to go and sympathize with him and comfort him. Then they sat on the ground with him for seven days and seven nights. No one said a word to him, because they saw how great his suffering was.” Job 2:11, 13

Galatians 6:2 tells us to carry one another’s burdens. As brothers and sisters in Christ, we’re in this together. But it doesn’t always mean we fix things. Some times we just show up.

When I was at the height of my depression, I had a dear friend who, night after night, would just sit with me and watch TV. Occasionally he’d ask if I wanted to talk. When I would say no, he simply put his arm around me and we’d continue to sit there silently. He’d never push; he just stayed with me. To this day, I feel I may owe this friend my life… a life I now love dearly.

In the situation several years later with my other friend, I’d do the same. That friend would later tell me that it meant the world that I merely took the time to be available, made the drive no matter the hour, sat for as long as was needed, and never pushed to talk.

There are times when words are important, when something must be said. If someone is contemplating suicide, you may need to speak biblical truth into his or her life, maybe some thing you learned last week from Todd’s sermon. In other situations, prayer, either with the individual or apart, is the best means of intervention. And yet, there may be times when silence, presence, is the most powerful means of all to show your love.

Father God, I lift up to you my brothers and sisters who may be wrestling with pain in their own lives or trying to help a loved one who is struggling. I pray no matter which side they are on, that you give them wisdom and strength. I pray you ease their pain. Meet them where they are and show them your love in tangible ways. I thank you God that you are full of love and compassion. I thank you that you are faithful, and your mercies are new every morning. I thank you that you never waste a hurt; we always come out better on the other side, often even thankful for the trials we’ve been through. Father, come to the rescue of those who need you today. AMEN.

On a practical note, if you suspect suicide is imminent (they have a plan and you believe they’re prepared to act on it), do not hesitate yourself to act immediately by calling 911. I’d rather have a friend angry with me for the rest of my life, then to not have them at all.

Other Resources:

Additional assistance and guidance can be provided for those experiencing depression, anxiety, or personal challenges by calling the McLean Bible Church Christian Counseling Center at 703-770-8670. The Intake Coordinator will assist callers in finding a psychiatrist (who can dispense meds), or a counselor (who can do therapy), in accordance with the callers needs. Click here for more information: http://www.mcleanbible.org/pages/page.asp?page_id=1319

For more information on the ministry of presence online see: The Ministry of Presence by Steven Davies http://www.oneplace.com/ministries/Wisdom_For_The_Heart/article.asp?article_id=1568

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